A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
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the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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