So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
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Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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