You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize