**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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