3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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