Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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