Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize