My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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