I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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