We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize