Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize