Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize