Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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