woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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