Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize