I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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