am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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