I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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