Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize