So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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