If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize