I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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