Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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