I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize