Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize