Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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