He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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