i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize