yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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