why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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