How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
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Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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