So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize