yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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