It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize