Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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