i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
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Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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