I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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