Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she peed on how many people?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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