Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
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Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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