when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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