Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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