I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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