I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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