...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
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We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
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Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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