i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize