they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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