Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize