How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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