Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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