need another drink. this is the easiest way
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
And then he peed in my hair
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